I Like Detective Stories And Detectives
by MizJoely
Summary: Irene Adler likes detectives. Greg Lestrade is a detective. My Adstrade/Lestradler stories. Ratings will vary.
1. Love Hurts (But not as much as zip ties)

_A/N: A flash fic/drabble written for ohdrey89 on tumblr, who asked: Adstrade "this will hurt." Rated K+_

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"This will hurt."

"Love always does," Irene sighed as Greg moved to cut the zip ties holding her wrists tightly behind her back.

She felt him stiffen at the words, allowed herself a small smile as he peered over her shoulder. "Did you just…"

"Yes," she replied, tilting her head back in invitation. "I did."

She didn't even mind the pain from her wrists as he kissed her.


	2. Cheese or Diamond?

_A/N: Beta read by the fabulous ukthxbye. Rated T/Light M. From the Sherlollicon 2020 prompts. The prompts, as you might guess, are the list Greg is reading. Enjoy!_

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_Lestradler_

_A posh hotel room_

_A bench by the Thames_

_Cheese or diamond_

"Lestradler?" Greg read aloud over Irene's shoulder. "What's that, then? An' all the rest of it?" He gestured at the page in her appointment book on which Irene had written the list he was now reading.

"It's rude to sneak up on people, Detective Inspector," Irene replied - well, not exactly _replied_, as she was quite deliberately ignoring his question.

He gave an inelegant snort and placed both of his solid, square hands on the desk. Boxing her in. "No one sneaks up on you, baby doll," he murmured, nuzzling her neck. "You didn't want me to read that, you'd've had that book shut before the door closed behind me. So. Lestradler? Sounds like a mash-up of our names, interesting, that. And here we are in a posh hotel room, after I met you at a bench on the Thames per your instructions. So that's that figured out. But cheese or diamond...I dunno 'bout that part."

Irene turned so they were nose to nose. "You're spot on about the first item. I toyed with calling us 'Adstrade' but-" She rose and in one smooth motion turned so she was facing him. She pushed him back lightly, with one hand, and he fell easily, if not eagerly, onto the enormous bed. "-but I decided I liked the sound of 'Lestradler' better," she finished in a near purr as she knelt with one knee on either side of his thighs.

"Yeah, I can get behind that," Lestrade breathed, reaching up to run his hands over her thighs and hips, rucking up her satin skirt in the process. But as his hands cupped her bum, he stopped his movements. "Cheese or diamond?" he asked, his curiosity overcoming - temporarily, as she damned well knew - his growing lust.

She dropped down so she was leaning over him, one hand on either side of broad shoulders. "I was just trying to see if I could deduce which item you'd be bringing me as a gift. Diamonds are a girl's best friend, no denying that, but as we both know…"

They grinned at each other and recited something Irene had admitted to him once during a very odd session of pillow talk: "Cheese is the best way to this particular girl's heart."

They laughed, a companionable laughter neither would have ever believed possible between the two of them, and Greg nodded at the table by the suite's sitting room door. "Cheese. Milbenkäse*, actually."

Irene squealed like a schoolgirl and bounced to her feet. "Why didn't you say that in the first place?" she exclaimed, all amorous intentions put on hold. "It's my favourite, oh you darling, darling man!"

Pausing only to place a quick kiss on his lips, she sped through the door, snatching up the treat and bringing it to the suite's small but exquisitely decorated kitchen area.

She glanced back over her shoulder as she picked up the cheese knife, smiling as she saw Greg lean up on his elbows, lips pursed in an expression of mild disappointment. As their eyes met his lips curled in a reluctant grin. "Should've skipped the cheese an' only bought the bloody necklace," he grumbled, pulling a blue, rectangular Tiffany's box from his jacket pocket and depositing it on the bed as he joined her in the other room.

"Don't worry, darling, I'll make it up to you," Irene promised, letting him lean down for another kiss only to pull her mouth away at the last, teasing second and popping a piece of the expensive (exquisitely flavored) cheese between his lips instead.

After all, they had the rest of the weekend to satisfy their other appetites.

_*Milbenkäse, called Mellnkase in the local dialect and often known as Spinnenkäse, is a German speciality cheese. It is made by flavouring balls of quark with caraway and salt, allowing them to dry, and then leaving them in a wooden box containing rye flour and cheese mites for about three months. (Wikipedia)_


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